Flirt and Flex for me Baby.

2007-03-24 11:00 p.m.

I learned a lesson the hard way today. Never go to the pharmacy on a Saturday. I had to wait a half an hour to pick up a refill that was already filled and ready to go. First I waited in line and then was told to sit down, shut up and wait for the tiny blonde girl with the shrill voice to scream out my name. Since my back hurt, I didn't want to sit down, so I chose to meander around. Eventually found a space in the middle of the floor to stand where I wasn't in anyone's way. After a few minutes I could feel him watching me. He'd kind of shift from one side to another, like he couldn't focus on me straight on, or maybe it was a feeble attempt at subtlety. It was kind of embarassing. I looked around to see if anyone else noticed but they were too busy reading old magazines or taking care of their post nasal drip. I looked under my eyelashes at him a few times. I had to admit he was kind of cute, even if he was short. Then came the funny part. He actually started flexing and showing off. It was like some sort of primitive mating ritual. He was trying to make himself look good in front of the other males in the store. I hope this doesn't make me sound racist, but I've never dated anyone of his color before. I mean I like the color purple and everything. However, I think the real deal breaker was the whole interspecies thing. How would my parents react if I brought home a tiny tropical fish during the holidays? When the girl screeched my name (and misprounounced it horrifically) across the entire pharmacy I gave him one last lingering look before walking away. Some relationships just aren't meant to be.

Snap, crackle and POP!

2007-03-22 5:52 p.m.

I decided to go see a chiropractor. Since I don't really have a lot of faith in chiropractors you know I must be desperate! Some people swear by chiropractors but I've always been skeptical. The first one I ever saw tried to pull my head off me like a tick. It's been three years since I've seen one and I thought it might be a good idea because I felt crooked. Since my back pain goes down the back of my left butt cheek I've been compensating by leaning on my right side, in fact right now I'm curled up on the couch in the corner on my right hip. I had a feeling that my body mechanics had twisted my spine into a vertebrael pretzel.

The gal I saw was very nice, young but very confident and quite kind. She rolled me around, massages me, pummelled me and twisted me. She found a muscle or tendon or something that was pulling my sacrum sideways. It was really creepy because I could totally feeel it when she was pushing on it. She did lots of snap, crackle, popping on a break away table (It's a table that drops about an inch when you put pressure on it, it kind of adds an extra jolt to an adjustment). Then I got a little massage, hooked up to electrodes and big hot fluffy things placed all over my back. Next she turned on the table and it moved up and down pulling my lower back apart. It sounds weird but it felt super good.

I have no idea if this will help, but I figure it won't hurt and my insurance covers all of it except for the copay. Anyone have any thoughts on chiropractors?

The dorkiness never ends!

2007-03-21 1:46 a.m.

I actually made it out of the house this weekend and visited Francesca and company at her new house. That is her cat Theo telling us about the mouse that got away. I even got to play on a Wii! I played tennis and did some bowling. It's a pretty amazing system. Hold on, I hear some suspicious crinkling noises in the kitchen...I'm back. Loki was licking the inside of a muffin wrapper. Apparently the cat food recall is hitting some members of the household harder than others. Who knew cats liked banana nut muffins from Jenny Craig? He's pretty skinny, it's not like he's concerned with his figure. So anywhoo. I've been spending a lot of time trying not to think about my back which is killing me. I even began to wonder if I got an infection from the joint injection and have been taking my temperature every couple of hourse but I'm still reptilian blooded. I'm putting off calling my doctor and whining because I feel like that's all I do. I guess that's kind of stupid because who calls their doctor when they're feeling good. "Hi, I just wanted to let you know I've quit smoking, I lost ten pounds, I'm super happy and nothing in my body hurts. How are you?" I'm a dork. More dorkiness tomorrow.

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